


This Life Might be Short For Me, But This Love is Long for Us

by Icantsleep



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bucket List, Cancer, Death, Fluff, I love that movie and i hope this doesnt actually hurt to read?, Idk what this is really, JUST WATCH THE MOVIE YO, M/M, Neighbors, SO MUCH FLUF, So many tags, Terminal Illnesses, based off of the movie"Now is Good" obviously, cancer!louis, i just dont want to scare you away with the major character death ugh, okay, they basically fall in love as Louis is dieing, umm fuck, why do i always have to make Louis like the main person???, wtf else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icantsleep/pseuds/Icantsleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis thinks too much. He thinks his life doesn't have enough moments of importance. So he makes a list to help him compile more moments to take to his grave with him (which hell be at very soon) but now that they're properly introduced, Louis mostly thinks about Harry and how he wants to create all the possible moments in the world with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Life Might be Short For Me, But This Love is Long for Us

**Author's Note:**

> I own like none of this plot!!!!!!! All credit to the writers of the movie "Now is Good" I just stuck Louis and Harry in it and twisted it up a bit. (I love that movie also, always makes me cry.) I also kinda took all the family stuff out of the stroy line, cause I'm shit at writing that and idk its boring. okay, i dont know how this will turn out, but i hope well. Also, I'm really fucking sorry if the ending fucks with your emotions. (aslo idk if ill even finish this but if i do the ending is fucking sad. just a heads up homies) sooo, sorry for typos! I HAVE NOT EDITTED THIS WELL YET. I just want re actions, so comments, questions and criticism are most definitely welcome :D love you all, thanks for reading! xxx  
> also sorry I say 'now is good' so much i just love it.

Moments are a remarkable things. By definition; moments are one and a half minutes of time that hold extreme importance.  Lately Louis' life had become a string of moments tied together with breakdowns and life events that he would never live to see. The moments were of course controlled by Louis himself, (Louis being a very controlling and anal person) you see he had a list of things. Things that he realized while sitting on a park bench after he had made the decision to stop the treatment, and to just fizzle out willingly, were things he needed to do before his inevitable death. But as all remarkable things, Louis had to come to an end. He knew that sooner or later (sooner being his unfortunate dilemma) the moments he was chasing would have to fade out and not be noticed as importance. So while on the park bench Louis decided that if all this was to end then there was no better time to make these moments, even if only just to crush them later. He decided that in the great scheme of things, he supposes that **now is good**. 

* * *

 

_A  moment.  This is one of them. Anything could happen next._

"Louis."

"hmm."

"Are you listening to me?"

"Ya, of course Zayn."

"Then did I just say?"

"uh that my bum looks fantastic?"

"Not even close you prick. I was saying that this it it, okay? The one and only time you get to loose it. Your great chance of being a man, the proper ritual, the passage into-"

"I get it, I know. The virginity loss."

"Yeah, exactly mate, the first thing to cross of your list." Louis turns around from the table with the record player on it that he was facing and actually looks at his best friends as he speaks. 

"I haven't made the list yet."

"Oh, well then what a better time to start then now? already one less to remember."

"Well if I start now, then I won't be able to write them down so it won't be official." Zayn stands looks Louis in the eye and places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a a bit as he speaks.

"Fuck official, ya? When have we ever done that bull shit?" and Louis supposes hes right about it all. The list could wait and if he goes through with tonight its _is_ one less to right down. So Louis checks his hair for the sixth time, and begins to walk towards the door. As his hand clasps around the knob he turns around, watching Zayn as he stands there before he speaks for a final time.

"Ya, I suppose you're right. **Now is good _._** "

* * *

 

The nervous feeling was still in his head as they lay on the strangers bed, both with there shirts off. Louis didn't like the uncomfortable settling in his stomach as the other man kissed down his neck. He though about how maybe sleeping with a random might make him a slut and hes never done this before and how this guy doesn't know that hes going to die soon. So many thoughts were rushing through his mind and he thought about how Zayn said that sleeping with someone you don't know just makes you alive. That's what Louis wanted to be; alive. He wanted to be that for 60 more years until he was old and married and his children were all old and married too. He wanted to be alive, but just not like this. 

"Wait, wait. I- I just can't do this. Not like this."n The stranger pulled his face out from between Louis collarbones, and looked genuinely pissed. Which made Louis' nervous feeling kick in more, because he could not be raped tonight. Not after all that hes been through. But the guy pulled his body away and simply asked:

"Are you shitin' me?" Louis let out an airy laugh and shook his head, because  _no, he certainly was not shitting him._ "get your shit then and let your self out." Louis thanked fuck and quickly threw on his shirt, and thought about how understanding that whole ordeal had been for a random shag. And Louis thought about how he desperately wanted to cross one thing off his list tonight. And he thought about how sketchy he hadn't noticed the neighborhood was until now. And that again that he couldn't get raped to night. Then he remembered that he always wanted to run though streets until he lungs almost burst, because they had turned to shit and what harm would turning them to shit more do? So he pondered the idea and then saw a group of muscular men walking towards him about a block away and he thought what better time? Louis looked down at his feet in beaten black converse, twitching with the thought of running and thought one last thing before taking off: **now is good.**

* * *

 

He woke up in the morning thinking about how his lungs still ached from last night, and maybe still hadn't calmed down.  Then Louis remembered the list and he had scribbled it all down with a heaving chest in a feverish attempt to get it all out. He scrabbled up, stopped half way out of bed to sit back down, because  _fuck his lungs hurt_ then crossed the room to the notebook with all the things he was going to do. They weren't well written, all jumbled up and scribbly, but he could reads them and thats all he needed. He skimmed down the list, looking at each bullet point with the attached phrase of what to do, and found one that he could definitely accomplish today.

  * tell someone who asked a stupid fucking question about cancer your honest answer.



He smirked at his own bluntness before closing the notebook and getting ready for what the future of the day held. 

 

"um, excuse me which of you is Louis Tomlinson?" Louis stood and raised his hand a bit at the mention of his name. "okay, and do you have a care taker with you today..id like to have a word?" Louis was fucking 18 and this woman had already managed to piss him off within 20 seconds of there meeting but still Louis bottled the emotions and gestured a hand at Liam, sitting in the chair next to him staring up at the two like a deer in headlights. Louis gave him a pointed look before Liam sprung up from his chair, blushing from the embarassment of nto knowing (for once in his life) what he was supposed to do. The woman put a hand on Liam's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear, but Louis could still understand every word.

"So, the lift is broken, is he going to be okay with his disabilities?" Liam pulled back before going to answer.

"I'm sure he'll be-"

"I have fucking cancer not a stair stepping disability." Liam blushed a deeper shade of red if that was possible.

"Louis she was just checking." But before the last bit was heard Louis was walking over to the door marked stairs ready to easily give thees people a real answer. 

Liam originally came because he didn't want Louis to have to go through this alone, and because he was really the only person Louis knew that knew as much about cancer and what Louis was going through than Louis himself. (liam being a doctor major and all that) But it was quickly established that he might only be needed to remind Louis to shut the fuck up. The woman walked them down a poorly lighted hallway until they reached a door that was marked for the campus radio host booth, where people came to be interviewed about current events and campus life. Louis couldn't figure out why he was here. Then he remembered it was because he was working his way towards death. They walked in, greeted the host, sat down and began to chat bout the interview. "So whats your angle going to be?" Louis asked "The whole dying college student, or something with actual depth or originality?" Liam looked thoroughly embarrassed and Louis beamed at his own cleverness.

"Um, sorry?" the DJ answered, but before Louis got a chance to respond the on air light came on and everything took off in full swing. Well not really. "Hello Manchester campus! Were back here with Louis and his good friend Liam! So, Louis you've been living with aaah..um, cancer? for the past four years am I correct?" Louis just stared out the window to his left and Liam took it as his opportunity to answer.

"Yes! lung cancer actually-" and the conversation fell away from Louis comprehension and he heard the gentle hum of Liam explaining his shit situation. But his ears perked up when the radio host began to speak directly toward Louis again.

"So, Louis you've made the decision to stop treatment, and could die very soon, how do you still find time to actually love your life?"  _excuse me._ So Louis took this as his perfect opportunity. 

"Well the treatment made me feel like shit quite honestly. Who wants so die feeling like shit? So I quit. Oh, and I've compiled a list."

"Oh." both of the other men's eyebrows in the room raised u in shock, daring him to continue.

"yeah, things I wanna do before I die. Just yesterday, I tried sex, well casual sex to be more specific" Louis knew he shouldn't be saying these things on a public radio station the majority of his peers were listening to. And also that he hadn't _actually_ had sex. "but i kinda fucking hated the feeling and he kept scratching at my balled head, like what the hell. I think he thought it was a turn on? I don't know, but I hope to maybe try drugs later today. Any you would recommend?" The host laughed it off but within three minutes they cut to commercial and only seven minutes out of the 25 the station had planned for the interview was used. Louis felt a bit proud, and Liam still didn't know what to say. Louis thought about how he said he might try drugs today. That was never and actual plan, but he felt alive and they were close to a weird neighborhood in town to Louis went with his gut feeling and told Liam he would find his own way home. With the newly purchased pills in the palm of his hand, Louis looked at the little numbers and letters on them not knowing what the mean and thought about how this was a moment just like the previous night and the radio show. The moments were beginning to build and Louis felt a little more satisfied. After all; **now is good**. 

* * *

 


End file.
